As a Canadian who has lived in Berlin for 3 years, I could never claim to have experienced any great culture shock upon moving to Germany. There is the language difference, sure; and I don’t think I’ll ever acclimatize to rap, R&B, hip hop, reggae, +, + all being called ‘Schwarzmusik’ but overall, one can make the transition quite easily.
In truth, it is the little differences that keep me up at night.
For two months now, I have been looking for a turkey baster.
Wo versteckt ihr bitte meinen Putenbeizapparat, Deutschland?
Can it be you’ve never used one? You roast things all the time! You also have a health care service known through the world for its efficiency and cutting-edge technology. Your Krankenschwester have taken mein Blut with your Fine German Needles. You don’t have to have a position at the Max Planck Institute to see how the one simple technology could have applications further afield…
‘We use a ladle to gather our drippings,’ you say.
’Your North American fascination with redundant do-dads and gadgets has never taken hold in our culture. Spiritually we know neither garlic press nor turkey baster!’
Garlic presses I’ll give you (though they’re not a job to find around here, are they?). But the genius of a turkey baster is that one can approach the target liquid with a precision that shows up a ladle like a duck on rollerskates in comparison.
Too much fat in the pan? Simply place the tip of your turkey baster on the surface and squeeze the rubber end—the fat is sucked away from the surface leaving the higher quality material in the bottom of the pan where it belongs. Ladles scrape and stir everything up, making it harder to control your Soße. There’s nothing worse than an oily Soße . And it’s true; there are rogue turkey basters with inferior suction and poor capacity—but they only cost about 3$ can./pro apparat! And where I’m from, if you got a dud turkey baster on your hands, there’s always another one ‘round the corner…
Cripes. I don’t even want it for a roast! I discovered during my last visit home that it’s a fantastic tool for making Cannelés de Bordeaux. Past experiences with less sophisticated tools saw the sheer breadth of the ladle dripping the runny batter all over the flexi-molds instead of into them; Esslöffel on the other hand being so small that it takes forever (and spills anyway).
Enter the turkey baster. Sucks it up, spits it out, like it ain’t no thang…
‘That’s alright, there, miss. Just doin’ my job.’
’And how, Turkey Baster!’
And how.
Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
Salty Wisdom
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